To dowry (or dower) or not

The Chinese dowry may be delivered with the return gifts on the day of betrothal or delivered a few days before the wedding. Some people have the impression that Chinese weddings are expensive affair for the groom’s parents since they have to pay for the betrothal gifts, bride price and wedding banquet. However, it may not be so, as the bride’s parents also have a long list of items to prepare for the bride's dowry and may also co-pay for the wedding banquet. The dowry typically include personal items for the bride and household or electrical appliances for the couple’s new home, such as tea set, beddings, bedroom furniture and bathroom items, set of washbasins and buckets, electrical household appliances, clothing, gold jewelry, etc.

Hokkien's special tradition
The Hokkiens will seal red dates, dried longans, dried lotus seeds, sweets etc into the spittoon/baby potty with a piece of red paper. When the dowry is delivered to the groom's side, the red paper and all the sweet goodies inside are removed and distributed to children. A young boy, preferably born in the year of the dragon, will be invited to pass urine into the spittoon. This ritual wishes for a boy child for the couple!

Article is taken from: http://www.chinese-wedding-guide.com/chinese-dowry.html


So, being an English-born-Malaysian-&-Chinese, there is possibility that I might have to follow this ritual just to please my parents and in-laws. Any advice?

p.s. Thank God, my parents don't exchange cows for dowry.

- J